Chapter Fifteen - TRIADs and Religion

Chapter Fifteen -
TRIADs and Religion

Regretfully, religion is not a popular subject among people today. That is understandable for the two extremes that presently pass for religion. One extreme is that of dogmatism focused on rapture or seventy-two virgins and the other is a self-centeredness that is convinced that all capacity lies within them. Nevertheless, religion and a perception of a relationship to a higher reality is as much at the core of being human as is the capacity for science. Logic and reason are as essential to the one as to the other and both, to be other than a charade, require a total commitment to the search for truth. TRIAD, as a tool, is no more associated with science than religion. And TRIAD, as a tool, is no less useful to religion than to science. Also, like any other tool, TRIAD can be misused. It is the potential misuse of TRIAD in religion that I shall principally deal with in this chapter. Religion is certainly a major subject about which one should concern ther self, and TRIAD is an excellent tool to use to examine your religious concepts. The problem comes with the means of its application. First and foremost, in life and in the use of TRIAD, one must be committed to truth. The novelty of TRIAD is that someone else is supposed to be monitoring our interaction with another person to help us avoid the human foibles that prevent us from staying on the path of that commitment to truth. The error in the relationship can occur from manipulation, intentional or unintentional, in an original communication on the part of either of the two parties communicating or upon the response of the one party to the other. It is objective monitoring on the part of the third party that is supposed to prevent this. For centuries, actually millennia, it has been the practice of religions to send out paired teachers. This has given the teachers support and has monitored that they are correctly communicating their message. Many of us have had encounters with missionaries of this sort. Two examples, but by no means limited to them, could be Jehovah's Witnesses or Mormon Missionaries calling on you at your door wishing to set up a "Bible" study. The two of them and yourself could easily set up a TRIAD. Unfortunately, these religious teachers are not to be trusted in a TRIAD. I am not saying that they are not fine, truthful, very dedicated individuals who usually live exemplary moral lives. They are all that and I personally feel myself blessed by having them call upon me. However, they are not there to abide by the principle of TRIAD in searching for the truth. The missionaries are of the opinion that they have already found the truth and that they are there to bring it to you. They view their role as teachers, rather than as seekers. In a TRIAD we are all seeking the truth and each person must be committed to putting that before all else. The missionaries do bring empathy (concern, altruistic good wishes for your well being and, in fact, your eternal soul) to the meeting. What they don't bring is a concession of equality in seeking the truth. They are of the opinion that they have the truth and you have the need. Open wide and they will pour it in. The missionary pair are tightly linked, both in their views and in their mission. We all come to a TRIAD convinced that our point of view is correct (otherwise we wouldn't hold it). However, we remain skeptics about our own absolute correctness and are willing to use the power of the TRIAD to grow and mature in the modification of our attitudes and ideas. The missionary pair are there to make sure that neither 'falls away' or diverts from the 'truth' of their designated message. No possibility for change there. They are there as a TEAM to brainwash their target -- you. All that said, I still delight in meeting with them. They often have many truths to share and I enjoy receiving truth from any source, but I know that the possibility of truth search, in a TRIAD sense, is not possible with them. They are there simply to convince me, brainwash me, if I will permit it. In an attempted TRIAD with a missionary pair one will find that one of the missionaries usually defers to the other. This presents the authority problem in a TRIAD because in a TRIAD the searchers for truth must all be on an equal ground. Other members of the TRIAD may be much better educated, have much more experience, exhibit more maturity and all other good qualities, but still each member remains independent and no one member speaks with an authority to which another must conform. That is usually not so with the missionaries. One will have a title perhaps, possibly unknown to you, perhaps in an informal way so that they can plausibly deny it, but one is the 'senior' to which the other defers. You will soon discover this and can address your discussion to the junior, but you will find that this makes the junior uncomfortable and that the junior will defer to the senior. Your role in a TRIAD is to monitor the relationship between the other pair. See how well that is working out for you in a TRIAD situation with missionaries? The role in a TRIAD is for each of them to objectively monitor the relationship between the other and you. But that is not likely to occur either, because it is unlikely that any other than the senior partner will do any monitoring, and that monitoring will not be objective but rather its intent will be to assure that they are fulfilling the goal of their mission. After all that being said, it would be wonderful if you could actually get a missionary pair to truly enter into the spirit of a TRIAD. In that case there would be equal opportunity for all to change and not just you the turkey, that might be 'converted', but also that one or both of the teachers might be converted to something else. That won't happen in the missionary arrangement with the missionary teachers. In a TRIAD there are no teachers, just seekers. Hopefully, there are also finders. If the subject of religion interests you from this perspective, here is an idea: form a TRIAD with yourself (if you are not a Jehovah's Witness or Mormon) and a Jehovah's Witness AND a Mormon. Good luck with that! Not that it couldn't make a wonderful TRIAD because it could, if all committed to finding the TRUTH! In the TRIAD described immediately above, each of the members is coming to the TRIAD with completely different views and that can be very desirable. A problem only exists with that if all are not willing to change so that they may each find a higher or better truth. On the other hand, if they enter the TRIAD holding the position that they ABSOLUTELY KNOW that they already have the single source of TRUTH and that, therefore, there is no possibility of their changing there is really no possibility of TRIAD and the effort will generally just be disruptive and discouraging to a person who comes into the TRIAD in a mode of open search for truth. What has been warned about here is equally applicable to any situation where there are paired teachers and a student, or to any situation where there is an 'authority'. An authority is one who has the capability to bestow award or withhold punishment. There cannot be independent investigation of truth in a situation like that. A teacher may control grades of pass or fail. A parole officer or court appointed counselor may control freedom or access to family. That is not to say that authority situations are not also good learning opportunities because it is good to seek for truth everywhere. Many times we need to seek out a teacher/pupil or coach/student relationship and to properly honor that relationship. Even in the area of religion one may wish to seek out a guru, master or other spiritual guide, but these are NOT TRIAD situations where you are seeking to independently mature and find the truth as is the case in the excellent following example. Coming Together by Sean Jacobs TRIAD Level Rating 9.2 Andy (A), age 23, and Barbara (B), age 25, are study partners in their bible school. Barbara has been a member of the church since she was nine years old. Andy joined the church when he was fifteen. Cory (C}, age 14, has just joined the church and has not yet been assigned any study partner. Entering the church's study room on this particular Sunday morning, Cory overheard the slightly heated discussion between Andy and Barbara. Cory walked in and politely interrupted. -------- C-(A.B) "I don't mean to disturb your study time but I was wondering if either of you had seen the pastor come by this way." B-C "No dear, I'm afraid not. Is there anything I can help you with?" C-B "No, ma'am. I was just thinking… if the pastor came through here and heard the two of you arguing over the Bible the way you were, I just don't think he would have been too pleased with your behavior. No disrespect intended to either of you, but I was always taught that God's word was that of peace, not anger." Andy and Barbara looked at each other in shame. A-C "Come on in, young man. I'm Andy. This is Barbara. What's your name?" C-(A.B) "My name is Cory." He reached out to shake their hands in turn. A-C "Well Cory, you look pretty young, yet you are absolutely correct." B-(A/C) "Yes, indeed from the mouths of babes." B-C "Would you like to join us?" C-(A.B) I would love to join you. Thank you. What were you arguing about anyway?" A-C "I just don't understand why Barbara has to lead the study just because she has been in the church longer and because she is older. I'm the man here. It's feels like it's a woman ministering to the church and that's not heard of where I'm from." C-(A/B) "Is she wrongly teaching you? A-C "No. She knows the lessons well. C-(A/B) "Is she not patient with you, or maybe belittling you because of your learning habits?" A-C "Well, no, nothing like that. But I'm the man. I should be teaching her. You might be too young to understand that though." C-(A/B) "Oh! I understand now!" Cory donned a look of revelation. "She is not fit to teach you because she is a woman, and I can't understand you because I'm young." He somberly continued with a smile, "If you don't mind me saying, sir, I think it's more about your ego than it is about the lessons. But because of what my mother taught me about God, I know Barbara forgives you for that, as do I" B-A "You know Andy, we could use another study partner. I think Cory would make a great addition if we were to form a TRIAD." C-(B/A) "I would love to join. But Ms. Barbara, would you mind if Andy and I shared in teaching every now and then? I think we would all be able to learn more about God if we all learn from each other." B-C "That would be fine with me. You have made a really good point there. A-C "Welcome to the TRIAD Cory."