TRIAD and Personal Growth
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Once one has embarked upon the TRIAD journey to the Infinite, going
where they have never gone before, there are many milestones that they
can mark along the way. There are Gems to be found, treasured and
polished. We call these virtues, and in the next chapter I provide a
small sampling. The listing itself may be infinite but, in any case,
there are more goals than can be achieved by any one individual in a
lifetime. You aren't going to become perfect.
You can certainly become more perfect than you are, and how much you
achieve in that regard is the mark of how much you get out of life. One
person's values and virtues are not another's. In fact, oftentimes two
people will value opposites. The same thing that to one person will be a
high cause, to another will be a crime. I am not of the opinion that both such opposite opinions can be right, although it is possible that they can both be wrong. For the individual, it is important that we try to understand others' points of view, even when we disagree with them. This is particularly true in a TRIAD situation. It may be that two people will hold diametrically opposed views, but that may be an opportunity for growth for one or both of them. It may be that the virtues that one or the other needs to learn in understanding the other are tolerance, acceptance, patience, insight, compassion, temperance or any one of many dozens of others. I will take my own case as an example. At this point in time I very strongly hold two positions that are not popular in our society with many people. My editors have pleaded with me to not mention them. If once I state them they cause you angst, please hear me out. The first has to do with homosexual sex. Anyone opposed to homosexual sex today gets the 'H' word (homophobic) used against them. It may not necessarily be true. I am no more opposed to homosexual sex than I am to fornication or adultery, and even Jesus spoke no more strongly against one than the other. All three have their advocates and, in the eyes of their practitioners, their justifications. Homosexuality could be the great cure for the world population problem and if God had decreed that everyone should be a homosexual there would probably still be enough violators of God's law to keep the world well populated. If it were God's law, then I would say that everyone should accept it immediately and completely. However, I do not know of any Divinely Revealed Book that proclaims that to be God's law, but would be most happy to examine it if someone were to show it to me. The problem is that most of those who advocate homosexual sex don't believe that God has revealed any laws. The second contentious issue boils down to the same thing. It is about abortion. Those who advocate abortion also have no Divinely Revealed Book supporting it and will often tell one in a discussion that they don't believe fetuses have souls, or that they don't even know what a soul is. Various cultures have approved and maintained various customs that are at variance with others. In some societies, including among the early settlers in North America, it is reported that parents had the responsibility to kill their children when they were entering their teens if it was evident that they were going morally astray. Conversely, it has been reported that it was the responsibility of Eskimo children to kill their parents when the latter were no longer productive. What is considered right or wrong obviously greatly differs from one culture to another. A person may be morally killed by another at most any age, depending upon the culture that they live in. The decision of what is permissible and what is not is usually based upon authority. The Authority to which I subscribe permits capital punishment and the killing of other human beings, including fetuses, under certain circumstances, but does not permit homosexual sexual relations. Other authorities may differ. This brings us back to why I bring up these subjects in a book on TRIADs. It is because you must be absolutely clear regarding TRIADs and the subject of authority. In a TRIAD it is absolutely not possible/permissible for there to be, in the TRIAD, someone who is an authority to you. That is to say, someone who can tell you what to do, say or think in order for you to receive an award/reward, or in order for you to avoid punishment/condemnation. This is not to say that either one or both of the other persons in the TRIAD cannot be individuals whom you consider to be experts or even your teacher(s), so long as they don't have authority to 'grade' you or keep you from independent thought. The purpose of a TRIAD for you is for you to independently examine, expand, evaluate and implement your virtues. Still, in a TRIAD, the objective evaluation of behavior/interchange/ communication between two parties should be based upon authority. For you, the evaluations that you make will be based upon the Authority to which you subscribe. The authority/value system is, however, external and it is possible that each of the three evaluators in a TRIAD may use a different authority. It takes some maturity of mind to see that there is no conflict between what was stated in the previous paragraph and this one. If you understand and apply the difference then you have a good grounding to progress in a TRIAD. It is for this reason that I have introduced some subjects that I know will raise some persons' ire. I have intentionally moved the argument out of the abstract, because it is important that you concretely interiorize the experience. If I have missed ringing your bell on these, then substitute in some others such as someone's advocacy of atheism, communism or vegetarianism -- whichever, whatever. If I have rung your bell, then it is essential that you be able to separate in your analysis the value of a person's argument from the Authority to which they subscribe. Critique the one and recognize/tolerate the other, although this latter certainly does not mean that you accept or believe in the other authority. This is where the role of tolerance and dialogue becomes so very important. It is important that the evaluator be able to objectively state that 'according to the authority to which they subscribe' such and such should be the case -- but that they realize at the same time, that 'the authority subscribed to by the individuals whom they are evaluating may hold a different position'. You should very much strive to understand to what authority each member of your TRIAD subscribes. In some cases one may wish to belong to a TRIAD where all the members subscribe to a shared authority as they are trying to grow in regards to implementing the standards and rules of that authority. In other cases it is desirable to try to seek out or form a TRIAD with individuals who subscribe to a different authority so that one may broaden their perspective, understanding and empathy for others' points of view. In all cases, it should be one's purpose in joining a TRIAD to be diligently seeking a deeper moral comprehension of reality and to apply that understanding in their life. At the same time, one has the responsibility in a TRIAD to help the other members achieve the same goal for themselves.
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