In this chapter, and several of those following, we will discuss the
feature that makes TRIADs unique. We will examine why it is necessary,
what it is about it that gives the TRIAD its unique functionality and
the ways in which it is utilized.
Let us begin by listing the TRIAD Rules. It is said that rules are made
to be broken and that is the art of any system, to know when to break
the rules. However, in the TRIAD system the ‘Law of Three’ is
inviolable.
By breaking the ‘Law of Three’ one will no longer have a TRIAD and,
while they may have a functional social organization of some other type,
indeed even one that better suits their specific purpose at the time,
they will NOT have a TRIAD - NOR will they have the unique TRIAD
functionality.
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Ten Rules for TRIADs
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1. Must be intentional
2. Must be voluntary
3. Must be composed of exactly three persons
4. Cannot be with an 'authority' individual
5. Two of the members must not be 'TEAMed'
6. One cannot be in two TRIADs
with same person
7. One can/should be in many different TRIADs
(This is how TRIAD Networks are formed!)
8. Must be able to communicate directly
9. Must not be with a sociopath
10. Must be with good intentions
towards each other.
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We will not discuss these Rules in any particular order. They are
discussed throughout the book and in particular contexts, and the Index
at the end of the book gives you a guide as to which chapters
particularly discuss each Rule.
For now we will examine ‘The Law of Three’ embodied in Rule 3. The
unique feature of the TRIAD is that the interaction between two people
in the TRIAD is cross monitored by the third person in the TRIAD. This
is essential.
Diagrammatically, the relationship is shown in the chapter on science
and the reason for the essentiality is explained in more detail in the
chapters on psychology and religion, while here we will only discuss its
basic features and principles.
The intent of a TRIAD is to benefit all the persons in the TRIAD. This
is true of all TRIADs, even of the 'third person out' in the mentoring
or marriage sort of TRIAD. Even in that type of TRIAD, the third person
gains through the relationship as we are all supposed to improve, gain
insight, progress and mature through all our human experiences. There
are mechanisms in the TRIADic interactions that particularly allow the
soul/psyche to make advances.
In the mentoring type of TRIAD the third person will naturally, from the
experience, make such gains as we have described but still, and
uniquely, the other members of the TRIAD have a responsibility to cross
monitor and assist in those gains. It is a measure of the maturity of
the TRIAD, both as to the individuals and to the TRIAD itself, as to how
well that cross-monitoring takes place.
The process of cross-monitoring is the chief and unique feature of the
TRIAD. Its development and utilization must be the facet with which the
members are most concerned.
While with only two persons you cannot have a TRIAD, you can still have a
TEAM or buddy system. These latter, as with a marriage, can be very
exclusive and intentionally repulse outside monitoring. Without a third
point of view, and an objective attempt to monitor the interaction
between the two, there may develop any number of conditions that are
pathological to a healthy and mature paired relationship, such as
codependence, erratic gyrating feedback, lack of reaction tolerance, as
well as the entire spectrum of virtue failures that any social group is
subject to.
It is because of the lack of objective monitoring and intervention that
many marriages and buddy systems fail. While intentional objective
monitoring cannot only help prevent marriage and buddy system
dissolution, it can greatly enhance the probability of its success by
its having become a TRIAD. Furthermore, its very intent should be to
attack and remedy the spectrum of virtue failures with which all systems
are plagued. In the next chapters, examples and specifics will be
examined.
The TRIAD story at the end of this chapter shows the importance of Rule
5. So far as TRIAD activities are concerned it is very important that
all the communication between the members be as open as it can be to
avoid TEAMing and any sense of conspiracy. Ideally all members will be
copied on all TRIAD correspondence.
But first, a word on the notation used throughout this book.
A Word on the Notation
The dash is always from one to another and be:
A-B
B-A
C-A
C-B
A-C
B-C
In other words any one can speak to either of the other two singly.
The dot is when the other two are being spoken to simultaneously.
The relationship of the most interest in the TRIAD situation is when one
of the members is critiquing the communication between the other two.
This can be, and in a healthy TRIAD should be, all of the members of the
TRIAD doing the critiquing at one time or another.
C-(A/B)
This is C critiquing A's communication with B - either what A is saying or hearing.
C-(B/A)
This is C critiquing B's communication with A - either what B is saying or hearing.
C-(B.A)
This is C critiquing B and A regarding their communication with each
other. It could as well be (A.B) because in this case order makes no
difference. The critique may very well be praise, and most often should
be.
B-(A.C)
This could as well be at anytime B critiquing the relationship between A and C.
A-(B.C)
Or at anytime B critiquing the relationship between B and C.
The fact that all the parties critique is one of the most ESSENTIAL and yet misunderstood factors of the TRIAD mechanism.
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Discovering Culture
by Joseph Pflueger
TRIAD Level Rating 9.1
Jenny (A) and her two coworkers Tom (B) and Jim (C), all members of a
Native American tribe, worked to develop a program to teach tribal
members their people's native language. They taught that the first step
in regaining their tribe's culture was to speak their language, but the
team first had to learn it themselves. Though daunted by their small
team leading a tribe great in number, encouragement came in knowing that
saving some of their lost culture would strengthen their community.
They studied the language and worked on developing a method for teaching
the members who wished to speak the language as well. Jenny attended
graduate school 300 miles away and Tom and Jim worked in their office on
the reservation. Their TRIAD, responsible for making sure the members
constantly made progress on learning and program development, often held
their meetings by conference calls.
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A-B "I'm looking at your email about developing the program,"
Jenny said. "You say the members received an outline of the program for
learning the language?"
B-A "That's right," Tom said. "We brought it up at the community involvement meeting and many expressed interest."
A-B That's good news, but I was unaware that we had a final outline," Jenny said.
C-A Tom and Jim exchanged glances. "Jenny, I think, after we
talked last, Tom and I went ahead and finalized it with your changes."
A-(B.C) "I didn't think we had agreed on a final program yet. I'm just surprised to see it was already presented."
B-A "This is our first attempt at this and we have almost no
other literature to base our program from. I expect we will work out
kinks along the way regardless of our outline."
A-(B.C) "This is our first attempt at this and we have almost no
other literature to base our program from. I expect we will work out
kinks along the way regardless of our outline."
B-A "Jenny, I know you and I have been corresponding in our
native language regularly, and Jim and I speak regular enough to each
other…
B-(C/A) … but, Jim, how have you been at writing and speaking with Jenny?"
C-B "We're exchanging emails regularly enough, but I think we need to speak on the phone more."
A-C "That's true," Jenny said. "I have a ten minute walk from
class to my office every other day at noon. Would that time work for
you?"
C-A "That works perfectly."
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